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Broken by Motherhood

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My friend sent me an article today about how a woman’s physiology changes for motherhood. The brain composition literally changes so that she is able to be more hyper-vigilant of her baby and be more attuned to his needs.   While I can’t say that I am surprised to learn of this miraculous evolution that Mother Nature provides her kin, going through the process has not always been as marvelous. I grew up in a low-income household that was either chronically depressed or escaping it through drugs or alcohol. Many family members had a prison record and few graduated high school. This reality combined with having no mother and father around meant that I figured out a lot of things on my own. Part of that meant “toughening” up so I could accomplish goals. I saw what (I interpreted as) being consumed by emotion did to people and I knew I didn’t want that. So I learned to swallow tears and it worked wonders for me. As a kid, I rarely cried. I never got very attached to people and fr...
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Stepping into my Womanhood

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In honor of International Women's Day, I decided to share a story that I only recently realized was happening my whole life.  Growing up, I called myself a tomboy. I played with G.I. Joes, hated dolls and dresses, loved sports and never really wore any makeup. In grade school I spent many a lunch hour playing "off-the-wall" and milk crate (basket)ball with the guys. Like most people, my circle of friends consisted of guys and girls who shared similar interests and opinions. My friends and I often joked around about how women were so annoying, sensitive and catty. From adolescence into the beginning of adulthood, I prided myself on being a "guy's girl." I often hung out with men, drank them under the table and boasted about my "no strings attached" intimate relationships with other men. Even when I finally embraced dresses, makeup and "girly" things in my twenties, I still held onto the idea that I was an atypical woman and often talked t...
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Why Do People Judge Jobs?

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People talk a lot about other people.  I do it too.  I often overhear (and participate in) conversations about people's careers. I never realized how judgmental we can be about positions, titles, salaries, etc. until I plunged into self-employment. What confuses me is when I hear criticism from people who have indicated that they are miserable at their jobs. It is frustrating but also disheartening, as I also know that there are people who are especially harsh on those that have chosen nontraditional paths like mine. What is this about? I find it interesting because there seems to be a big disconnect between what positions some folks deem "impressive" and the way people actually feel, in real life, when they have them. Its almost as if it's ok to be unhappy as long as your title sounds good, and of course, those paychecks keep you looking good. This dynamic is especially interesting when it comes to entrepreneurship. Even though entrepreneurship is becoming much more ...
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A Pregnant Entrepreneur

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Wilmer Valderrama, Javier Suarez and me (9 months pregnant) at the 2014 Hispanic Choice Awards Many of you have asked where have all of my posts gone! First, thank you to all my readers. It is really great to know that my writing has impacted so many of you. So, here is my explanation for my missing year: I had a baby! Really, that is no excuse, as the world keeps turning even when an entrepreneur is pregnant. However, when I found out I was having a baby I decided to take a step back from looking for new clients and just focus on the ongoing projects we had, namely the Hispanic Choice Awards , while I prepared for motherhood. Pregnancy; what a ride. I was definitely treated differently. People gave up their seats on the subway (90% of the time,) strangers would often stop me to encourage me or ask how far along I was, and of course, I didn't worry very much about calories so I had as many grilled cheeses and chocolate chip cookies as I wanted. In addition to killer backaches an...
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Remembering That I'm Not Crazy

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When I first set out on this path, I possessed blind faith that was certain that something big was in store for me. The path has definitely been a memorable one thus far but sometimes that faith can wane. Every day on this journey is filled with new challenges, new questions and new concerns.  Finding clients, making student loan payments, planning my future, making time for balance, spirituality and love; it can all be overwhelming. At times I even feel insecure about the work I am taking on-- Do I know enough about design to consult people on marketing? Will my music industry experience pigeonhole me into that field for life? When will I be able to hire employees and get office space? Will I ever reach the goals I have set out? That question game is never fun. I've learned to adopt ways to keep my mind at ease and focused on my dream even when it feels so logical to run back to the security of a 9 to 5: Remember the Alternative: I left working for others because I knew I want...
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Why I Thought 2013 Sucked

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January 5, 2014 People tend to place a lot of significance on the start of a new journey around the sun- a chance to start fresh, commit to those things we’ve been saying we'd do, take chances, take plunges and, of course, lose weight. For the last couple of years, instead of making resolutions like these, I took on annual themes or mantras. In 2012, it was PB&J: patience, balance and Jesus. In 2013, it was faith, service and action. Strangely, however, I hadn’t felt inspired to come up with anything for 2014. In the months leading up to the New Year, I was approaching it as just another few months to work harder, make more cold calls, polish up pitches and hopefully generate more revenue. After an interesting sermon today, I finally found my mantra for 2014: failure. Yup, failure. I realized that my apathy was probably an indicator that something else was going on (ain't it always?) I opened my eyes to my blah attitude toward 2014 and I got present to what I have ...
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4 Lessons from the Biggest Event I've Ever Planned

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Phew! I don't think I've ever put as much work into one event as I did for this year's 10th Annual Hispanic Choice Awards . This year's show took place at the historic Merriam Theater in Philadelphia on Saturday, October 5, 2013. With over 1200 guests, an outdoor red carpet, and a huge after party, it was the most spectacular event that I have ever produced. Now that I have had more than 2 weeks to decompress and revel in a post-show glow, I am now in the space of reflection, critique and improvement; an important part of any event planner's process. For the project managers and event planners among you, I have narrowed down 4 takeaways for taking on a large event or logistics-packed project that will guarantee success: Three Cheers for Volunteers ! Volunteers can be Godsends if utilized effectively! My first year doing this show I had 10; that did not work. We all ran around like headless chickens and my feet were throbbing by the end of the night. This year I...
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