Goodbye Philly
January 28, 2012
I’m here. I’m in New York. I did it.
"Start spreading the news..."
Goodbye Philly: I spent my last 72 hours in Philadelphia purging; it was far more draining than I’d anticipated. I expected a spiritual cleansing process where I lit candles, did an om chant and ceremoniously parted with tokens from my past, to make a symbolic clearing for a bright new future. Instead, I panicked. I clung to everything in sight and snapped back into the 10-year old pack-rat I used to be. A battle with close friends (whose help I enlisted in case such a flashback took place) ensued when I tried to rationalize why it was imperative that I keep 1994 newspaper articles about the Chicago Bulls, a shoebox for every pair of shoes I owned, and the bib from my first race. ( I won the bib argument). You know how they say, "easier said than done." Boy, oh boy, did I think packing would be different. After hours of emotional breakdowns, nostalgia, painful goodbyes, and a few glasses of wine, I consolidated my life into 3 suitcases, 1 duffel bag, 1gym bag and 3 boxes. ::exhale:: I left behind (and donated) about 40 garbage bags of clothes, shoes, bags, picture frames, kitchenware, and countless trinkets and knickknacks that had somehow managed to stick around even without ever serving an actual purpose.
Hello New York: I’m now sitting on a bed that I suppose will soon become familiar; I just showered in a foreign bathroom whose shower head is to remain static at 30 degrees to the left or it will fall on me; I am staring at the toiletries that I've haphazardly thrown on a dresser I’ve never seen before. It feels like I'm at summer camp... and kind of like I am mourning...
Hello New York: I’m now sitting on a bed that I suppose will soon become familiar; I just showered in a foreign bathroom whose shower head is to remain static at 30 degrees to the left or it will fall on me; I am staring at the toiletries that I've haphazardly thrown on a dresser I’ve never seen before. It feels like I'm at summer camp... and kind of like I am mourning...
Emotions are rushing over me so quickly I can barely grasp a hold of just one. I was overcome with nervousness and some fear (for the first time) today when I was getting ready to shower at the place I will be staying for the next few weeks. The "what-if’s" struck around midnight. I literally left pieces of my past in the dumpster... I should have brought a power cord... I need more hangers... Will I miss those shoes? What if… this doesn’t work? Should I have left Philly? What if… I don’t like New York?
As I crawl onto a mattress that makes me yearn for the firm Sealy Posture Premier that I sold to a Craigslister, I take a deep breath and I am reminded... This is the beginning of the life I have always wanted; I took control of my life by letting go of control; Something big is about to happen- I can feel it; I know I am supposed to be here; I am really freaking excited.
This is it...
This is it...
Comments
Post a Comment